Honesty

I figure I need to be as honest as possible for myself and others who may be struggling with their weight as I am.  Had a weak moment today.  I was super grumpy, hungry and my boys were driving me a little crazy. I hit an emotional block.  I ended up having a huge bowl of strawberries and cream and a cup of soda.  I am driving to fight these demons and I knew it would be hard.  The hardest part, is that maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I hate myself for eating that.  I want this SO bad and I know or at least think I can do it.  I am mad that I let myself get this heavy and fall apart.  I knew it wouldn't be an easy road to travel and had a feeling these emotions would come into play eventually, just not this soon.  I guess I feel bad too because all I did for exercise today was walk my daughter to school, pushing her brothers in a bike trailer/stroller.  It is about a 30 min walk roundtrip but my legs are still sore from yesterday which is both good and bad.  After my 5k it took my body one day of being sore to feel normal again.  So, I am hoping tomorrow I won't be so sore. To me sore means it is working, well if I am still sore, how do I know if what I did today is working.  I don't know, it's just a bunch of jumbled emotions and frustration but I have to work through this and I don't know how.  I am praying there won't be too many of these types of posts but if I don't be honest with myself, then I will never reach my goal.