Be bold, not timid

So I decided being self conscious was not a good excuse to not make a good effort.  I am only 3 lbs away from 20 and have been for over a month.  Lame!  I should have reached it by now!  I am disappointed in myself.  So I changed my workout outfit, from my swim suit top and shorts back to a t-shirt and shorts.  And even though my 21 month old cried most of the time because I wasn't paying attention to him, I did 25 min and burned over 200 calories.  I feel great!!!  Now I am just holding my son and my older 2 are playing nicely.  Other than homework, I have a good project to work on for the house today.  I am more productive when I workout than when I don't. 

Insecurities

So I have been stuck at my 17lb weight loss for a while.  Coming to terms with my body image and weight loss.  The other day my husband and I had a conversation late into the night part of it involved our personal body issues.  He said something to me that made this whole journey much more meaningful.  As I was expressing my disgust with my body and the realization that it is never going to go back to where it was, he told me he loved me because I look this way.  I scoffed and told him not to lie, to which he replied it is because I gave him 3 beautiful children and he wouldn't change that for anything.  So, as I sit here writing, stuck on a plateau at that time of the month, bloated and feeling yucky, I know that as I am taking this journey for me and will encounter these uphill battles sometimes, no matter how far I get, he will love how I look.  I feel now that I have had the personal realization that certain parts of my body will not look how I want them to after I reach my goal weight, it's okay and I should be proud of my body.  The other hangup is being self-conscious.  My brother and sister in law are here for a few more weeks and that has drastically hindered my will to get changed into my workout stuff and go sweat my butt off in the family room, for fear they might see me in all my self-consciousness.  I have never been a gym rat for the same reason, too many people there to "maintain" their physiques versus try to alter it.  I always knew this would be a learning process but I am still surprised by what I am being taught. 

Did Day 2 of the 30-day Challenge for EA Active.  My legs are killing me but it feels good to be stressed in a different way.  You sleep better at the end of the day too.  Our middle, almost 4 year old is too big for naps now and bedtime is a bit easier because of it.  So, that means Bruiser gets a nap and Mommy doesn't anymore.  Oh well, such is life.  Tomorrow on the 30 day is supposed to be rest day but I think I will do another workout anyways. I have been doing 4-5days a week for at least 15 minutes so it wouldn't be abnormal.  Feeling good though, having some issues with food but working through it.  Had a reasonable lunch instead of my shake but felt the need to bake and ate too many cookies in dough and baked form.  It's just one of those things I have to challenge myself with periodically and remind myself that a little is okay, too much makes you feel sick and hinders my progress.  Learning a lesson right now and keeping up with my determination!

Back to the workout and better on the diet.  Feels great to have worked out this morning.  I am missing my resistance band for my EA Active game, gotta find it because doing those workouts without it aren't the same.  I am only about 2 1/2 pounds behind my cousins weight loss, she has already hit her 20 mark.  Now, I am at least in the running again.  I am proud to say that even though I wasn't super strict on my diet or consistent with my workouts, I have maintained and not gained.  Very happy about that!!!  Keep going, you will feel better, trust me I do :)

Final for this class had me stressing major!  So no workout this morning but I have been keeping off my lost weight, thank goodness!!!  Getting a fresh class and start on working out tomorrow.  I have a goal of 2lbs a week.  Going to do my best to meet it and I know I will once I get my butt back in gear.  Seriously, not a fun final, glad it's over.  Back to the grind and losing that weight, keep it up!

Continuing to drop...

Well, I just barely got my Wii all set up to resume my workouts on EA Active.  It's not like I have been doing nothing, though.  I have still been moving boxes, cleaning stuff, some yard work, unpacking, etc.  All of that and making sure to continue eating right has helped me continue to lose weight.  I was surprised this morning when I weighed myself and found I had lost another pound.  It is keeping me motivated to get back to my morning workouts.  I am so happy that I am only 3 pounds away from 20 lbs.  I am still noticing how I feel in clothes.  It is also kind of weird to watch the weight shrink in some places and identify where I really need to work on the others.  I am glad to have support and the motivation this time around.  This is definitely a new lifestyle I plan on sticking with!

I'm back!

Okay, I was never really gone but moving took a lot of work so I didn't count everything I did or ate.  In fact I was worried that all the less healthy food I was eating was going to come back to bite me.  Luckily, I found this morning that I had actually lost again.  Thank goodness.  I have been trying to make healthier eating choices. My husband and I went on a double date Friday and I opted for fish, broccoli and salad versus french fries or other choices I might have previously made.  After moving, I felt I could handle a week of recuperation.  So, I didn't actively workout but there were things I did that could count as such, raking the back yard, clearing boxes out of the living area (so we could have a living area). LOL.  I feel rested and ready to get back into actively working my butt off ;)   Here's to unexpected surprises and getting back to it!!! Cheers (big glass of water)!